"THE FIRST EPISTLE OF PETER"
Our Duties As Wives And Husbands (3:1-7)
In this study of 1st Peter, we are seeing that God teaches the Christian how to conduct himself in all relations of life. BEFORE GOD, he is to be holy, even as God is holy - 1 Pe 1:14-16. BEFORE THE WORLD, he is to live an honorable life, one filled with good works - 1 Pe 2:11-12. AS A CITIZEN, he is to submit to civil authorities - 1 Pe 2:13-17. AS A SERVANT, he is to do good, even it means to suffer patiently the mistreatment of others - 1 Pe 2:18-25.
As we come to chapter three, we find there are also certain responsibilities in our relations as husbands and wives - 1 Pe 3:1-7. In a society where "dysfunctional families" seem to be the norm, it is even more imperative that the people of God demonstrate through their families that which is the will of God, and is "honorable" (good, beautiful to behold) conduct.
Our text goes a long way in describing the sort of conduct that is "honorable" for wives and husbands, beginning with instructions to the wives. Be submissive to your husbands (1-2); “In like manner, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, even if any obey not the word, they may without the word be gained by the behavior of their wives; beholding your chaste behavior coupled with fear.” The word "likewise" refers back to the discussion in the previous chapter in which the principle of submission has already been applied to: our responsibility to governmental authorities; the servant's relationship to his master. This would suggest that the same principles discussed earlier hold true to wives in their relationship with their husbands to submit not only to the good, but also to the harsh - 1 Pe 2:18 “Servants, be in subjection to your masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward.” That if a wife suffers wrong from her husband when she was doing good, it is commendable before God if she bear that mistreatment patiently - 1 Pe 2:19 “For this is acceptable, if for conscience toward God a man endureth griefs, suffering wrongfully.”
The value of submission is best illustrated in the case where a Christian wife is married to an unbeliever. He might be converted by her "conduct" even though he might not have previously obeyed "the" word (the gospel)... Without "a" word (persistent nagging), he may be reached by her conduct! The type of "conduct" likely to have that effect is described as: "chaste" - that is, purity in all manner of life; "accompanied by fear" - that is, reverence; which in this case is manifested toward the husband and is an attitude consistent with the principle of "submission". So the first duty of wives as outlined by Peter is that of "submission", especially if the husband is an unbeliever.
Adorn yourselves properly, verses (3-4); “Whose adorning let it not be the outward adorning of braiding the hair, and of wearing jewels of gold, or of putting on apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in the incorruptible apparel of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.” It is likely that Peter's comments are in the form of a "Hebraism". In other words, a Hebrew idiom (form of speech) commonly found in the Scriptures. In this case, there is a contrast ("not this...but this") for the sake of emphasis. A good example of this is found in Jn 6:27 “Work not for the food which perisheth, but for the food which abideth unto eternal life, which the Son of man shall give unto you: for him the Father, even God, hath sealed.” Jesus is not saying that it is wrong to work so we can eat, but that our priority in life should be to have everlasting life.
A similar emphasis by way of contrast is being made by Peter. In other words, don't let your emphasis on "beauty" pertain to outward adornment. Not that it is always wrong to arrange the hair, wear gold, or put on apparel, but place your emphasis elsewhere! Let your beauty be "the hidden person of the heart". Conduct yourself so that beauty of the "inner person" shines forth, where people notice more "who" you are rather than "what" you wear! It is a "gentle and quite spirit" that constitutes true inner beauty. Unlike hair, gold, and apparel, it is incorruptible! - 2 Co 4:16 “Wherefore we faint not; but though our outward man is decaying, yet our inward man is renewed day by day.” It is also very precious in the sight of God - Isa 66:1-2 “Thus saith Jehovah, Heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool: what manner of house will ye build unto me? and what place shall be my rest? For all these things hath my hand made, and so all these things came to be, saith Jehovah: but to this man will I look, even to him that is poor and of a contrite spirit, and that trembleth at my word.”
So Christian women, let your inner beauty be your most noticeable feature! Without inner beauty, any outward beauty is like a ring of gold in the nose of a pig! - Pro 11:22 “As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, So is a fair woman that is without discretion.” Parents, are we teaching this truth (by word and example) to our daughters?
Be "daughters of Sarah", verses (5-6) “For after this manner aforetime the holy women also, who hoped in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands: as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose children ye now are, if ye do well, and are not put in fear by any terror.” Remember, the holy women in the Old Testament who trusted in God adorned themselves with a gentle and quiet spirit and were submissive to their husbands. A case in point is that of Sarah who was so beautiful outwardly that Pharaoh wanted her when she was over 65 years old; that the king of the Philistines wanted her when she was over 90 years old, and long past the age of childbearing. Yet her true beauty was demonstrated by her submissive spirit (calling her husband "lord"). Christian women can become the "daughters of Sarah," provided they "do good" (be submissive to their husbands) and "are not afraid of any terror" (composed with a gentle and quiet spirit). To be considered a "daughter of Sarah" by God would be a very special honor! It can be had by any woman who heeds the words of the apostle Peter. But a failure to heed these words will result in being more like a "daughter of Jezebel." Remember, she delighted in her physical beauty and in manipulating her husband. May such never be true of women professing godliness and wearing the name of Christ!
Peter's instructions to husbands are brief, but nonetheless extremely important. “Ye husbands, in like manner, dwell with your wives according to knowledge, giving honor unto the woman, as unto the weaker vessel, as being also joint-heirs of the grace of life; to the end that your prayers be not hindered.” Peter writes, "dwell with your wives with understanding" although the KJV says "with knowledge". Husbands are expected to know, and understand their responsibilities in marriage - Ep 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it;”. The nature of women, as "weaker vessels" refers to physical strength, not to intellectual abilities, moral courage, or spiritual strength. Such understanding is to govern how the husband lives with his wife -- with love and thoughtfulness.
"Give honor" to the wife. The word "give" means "to assign". "honor" involves the idea of that which is "precious, of high value". So the husband is to assign to his wife the honor of being precious and of high value in his sight. A good reason to consider our wives in such light: they are truly "heirs together of the grace of life". In other words, they are sisters in Christ, and therefore worthy of the respect we give any other child of God!
"that your prayers may not be hindered". Here is good reason to heed Peter's instruction! The word "hindered" literally means "cut off". Thus the way we treat our wives may result in our access to God being cut off! This is what happened to the O.T. priests who divorced their wives - Mal 2:13-14 “And this again ye do: ye cover the altar of Jehovah with tears, with weeping, and with sighing, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, neither receiveth it with good will at your hand. Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because Jehovah hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously, though she is thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.” Would Christian husbands that mistreat and/or abuse their wives expect any different?
We learn from Peter, then, that how we conduct ourselves as husbands and wives can have a bearing on our personal relationship with God. If wives are to be considered "very precious in the sight of God..." If husbands are to keep open the avenue of their prayers to God... -- Then we must apply the principles in this passage (1 Pe 3:1-7) to our lives! If we do, then we all can be "heirs together of the grace of life!" If not, then we put a barrier between ourselves and God!
Speaking of being heirs of the grace of life, do you know how one can become such an heir? - Ti 3:4-7 "But when the kindness of God our Saviour, and his love toward man, appeared, not by works done in righteousness, which we did ourselves, but according to his mercy he saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit, which he poured out upon us richly, through Jesus Christ our Saviour; that, being justified by his grace, we might be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life."
